Over the whole sleep thing....

I am sooo over the whole "Sleep" thing. I've been sleeping the same amount as usual at night, and I'm finding myself SOOOOOO tired. And I mean T-I-R-E-D-I-COULD-TOTALLY-SLEEP-ALL-DAY-TIRED. So I've been taking naps when I can. But yet I'm still dead on my feet tired. What the heck?? I must be coming down with something? Idk, I just know that I'm tired of being tired. Now off to nap. >.<

impatient...

I wrote out this loong post, edited it a few times, but still didn't like it. So I'm gonna just write this instead. :)

I'm getting so impatient. Still having irregular cycles. AF this cycle was practically endless. Well, the spotting was. Buckets of fun lemme tell ya! Last cycle was ridiculously long. 49 freaking days. Temps so irratic that fertility friend couldn't even detect ovulation. I'm hoping sooo hard that this cycle won't be as bad. Or as long. I can't wait for them to get even. I really really really hope that they do. And sometime soon!

My appointment with my gyno is set for January 15th. They didn't have anything open in December, so that's the closest they could get me. I'll have some tests done... plus the same ol same ol... and we'll just have to take it from there. Hopefully I'll have some sort of pertinent update for you guys before then, but if not, I'll find something semi interesting to babble about. :)

Self torture

Why on earth do I watch shows like this?? On tv, I'm watching a show called "Adoption Diaries"... sounds happy, right?

Weeeeeeeell, in the beginning, they were going through the Adoptive couple's story.... and now I'm in tears.... terrified.

What if I can't get pregnant?

And now here I am.... a sobbing mess. I couldn't even imagine. I don't want to. And yet that's the exact scenario playing through my mind right now.

I really need to stop watching these shows....

sometimes nature is the best lullaby

This really isn't related to what the rest of the blog is about, but I couldn't help but share.

Tonight Devan was having a bit of trouble getting to sleep. I let April head off to bed, since she has to work tomorrow, and I would watch him. So I put him in his bouncer on the livingroom floor, strapped him in, and went to the kitchen to get him a little formula. I am juuust about to add the powder to the water, and I hear him in there, laughing hysterically. Me, being confused and slightly concerned, of course went running. There he was, with a huge moth flying around juuust above the mobile part of the bouncer. He was having the time of his life, just watching that thing fly. He'd stop and just stare at it, and it would swoop a little closer to him, and he would reach for it and go back to his mad laughter. It was the cutest thing ever!! So I let him "play" with the moth for a bit longer, and finished making the bottle. When I came back to him, I fed him the formula and we snuggled next to the open window in the livingroom, with no sound but the crickets and me once and awhile talking/singing to him. He passed out in less than 15 minutes. Man I love this little boy. <3

Prediction results

Here they are, in the order I received them :)

Cheri22:

"Hi Stephanie

Thanks for being patient with me while I got back to you reading. I am seeing a Girl and they relate her to SEPTEMBER so this is either birth month, conceive month or the month you find out in

I see your daughter as someone who knows exactly what she wants to do. Shes always got her opinions in order. Meaning she knows what she is talking about and is not just running her mouth just for something to say. She is usually really comfortable in pretty much any situation and really enjoys hearing other peoples "banter" about things that interest them. If shes not heard of something or has not had a chance to check it out, she likes to listen to what people have to say and then figure out her own views before commenting.

I am seeing her standing around 5'5 in height, her hair usually a bit on the shorter side, long enough to pull back into a low pony tail but still would be considered short hair style. I also see it having "bold" streaks. Your daughter is not someone who tries to draw attention to herself (happens naturally) but is not afraid to express herself and what she likes. I see you being okay with this as shes never over the top.

I think that you will find her to usually be wearing blue jeans, and a t-shirt of some kind. Usually something shes comfortable in. If its a bit cooler outside you might see her with a longer sleeve shirt but she is usually the one that is rolling up the sleeves. Its not uncommon to see her standing around wtih no shoes and socks on, and is quite comfortable doing so.

When it comes to career paths, they show her starting off doing her own marketing type company. I see this as a class project, and ends up with the help of her teacher starting an online thing. Almost like shes going to start making "brands' for companies and providing this service. They also show her around the age of 23, being something like a "Veejay"./

When it comes to marriage i see her closer to 28, they will have one girl and one boy of their own.

Let me know if you have any questions
Best Wishes
Cheri"

Jennyrenny:

"Your reading reveals that your BFP news comes the month of December 2009. The baby shows as a girl and her EDD is referenced the 10th of September 2010 and her birth date is shown around the 29th of August 2010.

Jennifer"


Roxy:

"Stephanie, I am seeing the month of May and Boy for you. Remember this can be birth, conceive or BFP month.

Roxanne <3"

waiting waiting waiting...

I thought I had written an update a few days ago, but apparently I didn't :hides:



Anyways... I was right... it was AF. Maybe 3 hours after testing, Af came... with a vengeance. And I felt even worse. SO sick I could hardly stand up without thinking I was gonna "toss my cookies". First day was medium, second was light.... then three days went by with NOTHING. Not a drop. So I started panicking, because of my prior history of irregular cycles. Thankfully I started spotting again on Monday, and am again today, so hopefully I'm having an ordinary end to my flow. Yes, I know that for the first few cycles after you come off of bcp your cycles are usually sporadic until your body get back into the swing of things again. That doesn't stop me from worrying. I was hopeful that I'd be one of the lucky few that things went regular right off the bat. Oh well! We will have to see if things do get in a semblance of a pattern, or if they are gonna stay random. When I go back into the doc in Dec/Jan (haven't set the 6 mo appointment yet) if stuff isn't more regulated, I will have the doc look into it.



So for now I'm waiting. I'm on cd7 and hopefully af will be gone tomorrow. I don't feel as bad healthwise, so I'm taking that as a good sign. I'm hoping that this cycle will be the one :) But that's wishful thinking. I think Jennyrenny and Cheri22's predictions are probably more likely scenarios LOL but I can hope!! I know I didn't post my prediction results here, so I suppose I should take this opportunity to do so lol! I will have to post them in a new post though. Apparently "paste" crashes IE. So I think I'll end todays blog at that. I'll try to remember to update ^.^

first letdown.

Okay, so my symptoms were killing me, and I had to test. Today marks 9DPO. Annd... BFN. I feel like I'm gonna throw up. Huge letdown. And when I was done, there was a bit of pink on the tp. I think that means AF is on her way. Stupid witch. I'm just really sad right now. I was really hoping. Hopefully next cycle will be it, but all I can do is try and cross my fingers that it goes right. If AF isn't here in a week, I'll test again, but I'm not holding my breath.